The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella.
you are my hero
"If you think Im badass, here’s some things to confirm it"
Some graffiti found in Pompeii’s ruins:
- Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
- Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.
- I screwed the barmaid.
- Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.
- I screwed a lot of girls here.
- Sollemnes, you screw well!
- Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.
Nice to see nothing has changed.
I love this.
I am laughing so hard
someone basically wrote “secundus is gay” on the wall humankind has not changed at all
I love this guy randomly out of nowhere running trough the scene, full force hysteric.
One of these things is not like the others
One of these things is not quite the same
It’s the same, but different.
Can’t. Not. Reblog.
so i was looking at lipstick and there were some interesting colors
idk why you’d need this color but ok i guess
lol me 2
is this the color of chilli though
C O N S T A N T T O A S T
me before posting something on tumblr: no that could offend someone
Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth
> Don’t give him a baby for a while.
HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER
AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT
IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE